Says who that men cannot wash dishes???
Kampala, Uganda: I was taken aback a few days ago when I listened to a radio show presenter mention that it is wrong for a man to be in the kitchen washing dishes. He went ahead to say that if a man does so, it means that he has failed to manage his home, because apparently that work is supposed to be done by someone else, perhaps lower in hierarchy!!!
With all due respect to the presenter’s opinion, I thought I should use this opportunity to also raise a voice on behalf of those men who perhaps share my point of view. To me, I think that there’s no problem for men not only to wash dishes, but also to cook, mop the house, wash clothes, clean the children and even wash their wives’ knickers! These are activities that traditionally were presumed to be the preserve of women while the men spent away their time in drinking joints or for the responsible ones, gathering firewood and fending for the family.
However, today, it is obvious that women have broken into the traditionally perceived men’s jobs-so why not the other way round? We are increasingly having female engineers, doctors, drivers, mechanics, preachers, lawyers, and above all, many women are doing all sorts of jobs that earn loads of income which in turn contributes to the family running. Many men cannot service the entire bill for their families’ monthly expenses-and this is how far the battle of the sexes has come. So if the women are as engaged at work as men are, should they be further loaded with house chores? Are women machines that never get tired?
Talking of women being machines, perhaps they really are, but they are as truly human as men are. Yes, I grew up watching my dear mum (RIP) toil for the family day and night without ever showing signs of tiredness. She would wake up in the morning and goes to the garden, returns in time to make lunch, clean the compound, wash our clothes, organize the house, wash the dishes and of course prepare dinner among other chores while we went to school. She never complained a single time and did all her work with a motherly smile that was never fading. I never stopped to sympathize with her.
5 years ago when I married my wife Judith, I noticed that she had lots of my mum’s characters-she was very hardworking. Luckily enough, staying with her so closely helped me to quickly realize that my wife was terribly over worked. Without being told, I took a personal stand to override traditional dogma about the jobs preserved for women and started offering a hand at all times. This has even helped me to realize my inborn skills in different aspects e.g cooking, feeding, dressing and showering the children, mopping and even peeling matooke! On a number of occasions I have had to be at home alone with the children, and I did all the house chores with a smile.
By supporting my wife with housework, we’ve managed to significantly gain more night time, the children go to bed earlier than before and hey, we sleep a lot more relaxed. One thing that has defeated me so far though is waking up in the middle of the night to attend to Princess Tia. While I am away in dreamland, my wife wakes up severally to breastfeed and ensure the children are well covered-men should surely know what it means to be woken up from your sleep to attend to a crying baby, who sometimes is not planning to sleep again soon! The few times of the night I have managed to wake up though, I feel so glad that I am able to offer the support, and this I am sure has never made me less of a man.
I think that men and women must harness a level of friendship that surpasses their sexuality. A family should be managed devoid of the shameful kind of politics we see in regular governments. Of course in some instances husbands and wives can agree to set some sort of guidelines, but this tendency of treating women like horses will not take our generation anywhere.
By: Tumusiime Kabwende Deo
+256-712-075721
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